Even whores have their limits

Have you ever been to Chucky Cheese? You know the anticipation you feel right before the animatronics show starts and then you notice that the puppets are rundown, sadly sagging and they just don’t quite move right to the pre-recorded music? Well that’s pretty much how the Playgirl review was last night – rundown/sagging/and embodying no rhythm.

The venue was decked out for over 200 eager women who would come clutching their crisp $1 bills. Sadly only about 30 of us showed up and I think my group was among the youngest. The show started about 45 minutes late because of the lack of attendance, during this time I’m sure that all the Varsity Grill staff were frantically calling their women folk begging them to come on down so that this pathetic turn out was diminished.

Finally the show began… With the announcement that we we’re in for the best 2 ½ hours of our lives, at which time my friends and I looked at each other and mouthed “Did they say 2 ½ hours?” Smoke machine was at the ready and so the dancing began. Much to Aimee and I’s horror they were not only dancing BUT lip singing to slow country songs. Needless to say we got a great AB work out because of the laughing we did. I’m talking laugh-out-loud craziness here.

To my horror the dancers started to strut their stuff down the isles, and like I said before there were only 30 women in the whole joint which doesn’t make for a great buffer. Aimee was in the isle seat because Natalie and myself refused to sit there, not that it mattered because after the guy was done dancing with Aimee he jumped over her and started giving me a lap dance. As Aimee stood in the isle yelling “This is not my fault, I swear I did not tell him to do this.” Now to me lap dances are kind of gross, but that was only amplified by how sweaty he was and he smelt like a mix of that sweat and old spice, which is not a good mix, so I couldn’t breath. It only got worse when he then put his sweaty cowboy hat on me. I couldn’t even look at him I was so mortified, so I just stared at Amanda while he danced away. When he left he kissed the top of my head. Ewww…

I mean I know that I’m a big-fat-whore, but come on even a whore has her limits.

Needless to say this will go down in the memory books as another Twilight Zone moment for Christy, as well as a new memory to go along with the song Grease Lightening … Don’t ask.

~Christy