On Saturday night Matt taught Kathy and I the correct way to give the “tough-guy nod” a skill I thought I had down only to discover that I didn’t, at all. But it got me to think on how I always want people to think I’m such a badass, how I pretend that things don’t hurt me as much as they always seem to. One of my girlfriends even told me that I’m one of the most sensitive people she knows, and here I thought I was such a toughie.
I’m, for the most part, a very honest person – especially with my girlfriends, who like it or not, know the good, the bad and the totally ugly. But there are times, when my feelings get in the way of my honesty, where I shut down and pretend that it’s all good - the Queen of Breezy. And you know what? I'm sooo not breezy. I agonize over things, more than anyone would even imagine and when I take steps to correct my past indiscretions I end up in more pain because I feel guilty in a way, guilty that I never really told the whole truth and so we all have to suffer the consequences of my lack of complete honesty.
I don’t know why I feel the need to be a badass. Maybe I’ll never really know. I do know this though... I’m stoked about using my new skill. Oh yeah, the tough guy nod, it’s a coming.
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