My phone scared the shit out of me last night.

There I was sleeping soundly - really soundly - the kind that leaves pillow creases on your face and you wake realizing that you drooled all over yourself. During this deep sleep, at about 4 am, my phone starts vibrating across the night stand and I wake up thinking that someone is ringing my door bell. I wake up totally freaked out, I might add.

There I am in my undies and t-shirt sitting in my bed wondering if I even locked my front door, because I’ve forgotten to do that on occasion especially when I roll in late, like I did last night. So I sit there, and I sit there, and I sit there… Long enough for someone to have already entered my apartment and kill me several times over. My reaction time is astounding.

As I’m sitting there contemplating life, death and the fact that my bedroom is really cold and I’m going to have to turn on the heat soon, my phone starts vibrating again and I realize that it was my phone, not my door bell that woke me from my slumber, so I promptly go back to sleep.

… This morning I discovered that my front door, was in fact, left unlocked. I’m super awesome.