My Own Little Shop of Horrors

Today I went to the dentist and like most people I was dreading it. I honestly think I’d rather go to the gynecologist than get my teeth drilled. I’m a grinder; apparently I’m neurotic in my sleep. I used to have a night guard, but it made me hyperventilate, which I guess proves that I’m neurotic in the daytime too. Now being a grinder you’d think that I’d be prepared for what the dentist has to say when checking out my chompers, but clearly you are mistaken … Here’s how it went:

To herself: “Holy Moly – WOW –Oh MY!”

To the hygienist: “Did you see how she ground down her molar here, isn’t that incredible, in one year too?”

To me: “Oh don’t look so alarmed, I’ve seen worse. I had one guy who ground his teeth down to nubs.”

Um okay. So that's what the dentist comes up with as the worst she’s seen? Seriously, I’m just a step above the dude who has nubs for teeth?? Well that is just excellent!

Now I have to replace a crown, get a new lower mouth guard and apparently seek counseling for my neurotic sleeping and hyperventilation ways. In closing let me give you the lyrics to a song that always goes through my head when going to the dentist, like always my life is good times.

From Little Shop of Horrors:

When I was young and just a bad little kid.
My mama noticed funny things I did.
Like shooting puppies with a BB gun.
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done,
I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head,
That’s when my mama said

(Chorus)
You'll be a dentist. (You'll be a dentist)
You have a talent for causing great pain.
Son, be a dentist. (Son, be a dentist)
People will pay you to be inhumane. (Inhumane)

CW